LFN: The Siren's Dispair
by Kinded Isa
Summary: Set during the events of the La Femme Nikita season 2 episode Approaching Zero. Believing that Jurgen's death is her fault, Nikita struggles to death the guilt. Spanking and Sexual Situations.


The Siren's Guilt

By: Kindred Isa

Rating: M for adult situations

Fandom: La Femme Nikita

Characters: Nikita & Jurgen

Summary: Set during the events of the La Femme Nikita season 2 episode Approaching Zero. Believing that Jurgen's death is her fault, Nikita struggles to death the guilt.

Warning: Spanking, sexual situations, and episode spoilers. Don't like spanking then don't read it thank you! This is my second LFN fan fic but the plot bunnies wouldn't leave me alone so here we are. ;)

Feedback: Hell yeah but any flaming will be laughed at.

Disclaimer: Not mine…Don't sue since I don't own anything. I'm only borrowing them and will give them back in mint condition…Well with one having a sore bottom though lol.

The explosion tore not only a man's body but her very heart when he allowed himself to be killed due to the explosion. Yes he had died well and had completed the mission but it didn't quench the ache within her very breast nor did the moment Madeline and Operations told her that she was to take some time off to grieve. She loved Jurgen deeply and more so than she ever loved Michael but now he was gone from her life forever. The walk home had been utterly bittersweet even with the time off only able to hold herself together until the heavy wooden door to her apartment closed. Once it was closed did the blonde slender beauty feel her body sink back against it, her blue eyes blurring and her heart breaking. He had become someone she'd fallen for intensely and now he was dead. He hadn't been like the others and Nikita let out the pain with loud sobs. Her eyes closing, sinking down to the floor with her bottom on the hard surface with her knees to her chest. Wrapping her arms around her knees, and her head resting on them with her body now shaking.

She had been like this for some time before Nikita finally got herself up off the floor wiping her wet face with her sleeve unable to help the ache from haunting her knowing it would only get worse before better. Finally getting herself together she walked into her washroom to draw a nice warm bath pouring some rose scented bubble bath into the warm flow watching the bubbles seem to float the surface.

The scent of rose filling the apartment soon filled her senses along with something else that she can't quite pinpoint. Her soft hands go to the material of her black shirt before removing the soft fabric. It ghosted to the bathroom floor to pool at her feet with the rest of her clothes following. Her soft breasts seemed to beg for the sweet air to suckle on the hardening pink pebbles with the lovely woman sinking into the heavenly pool of warmth. The candles around the white porcelain surface left a golden glow over her face and even with one in such warmth; there was none in her expression. She was haunted by the death of the man she loved and had unwillingly betrayed. Closing her blue eyes all Nikita could do was whisper aloud to the silence in the room, tears spilling from the blue orbs. "Jurgen, I'm so sorry…"

As she ghosted though words from her soft pink lips, she felt almost a cool wind blow over her wet slender form as if the room was whispering her name in response. Nikita's eyes opened in alarm looking around obviously uncertain as to what she may have imagined knowing that it wasn't possible to hear what she thought she did. She thought she had felt his hands ghosting over her naked wet breasts, his lips upon her own and her name whispered in her ear. Getting out of the tub, Nikita looked around nervously shaking off her imagination knowing that it wasn't possible to have Jurgen with her any longer getting dried off heading to the bed naked. Lying down, the blonde curled up under the warm covers once again letting her pain overwhelm her into a dream less slumber.

Ghostly hands washed over her soft supple form while she slept with lips worshiping her body. Nikita's blue eyes opened only to see Jurgen bent over her bed with the young woman watching him in alarm. "J..Jurgen, you're dead."

Jurgen actually smirked a little bending down to kiss her once more with his lips cold but still soft a rose petals while his hands glided over the fleshly mounds of her breasts. Not wanting to rationalize what she believed to be a dream, Nikita let the sensations watch over her. The fingers gliding over the soft wet folds between her legs to enter her body before Jurgen too was naked. The wet tongue slid over the twin pink pebbles of her breasts before running down to lap at the tiny nub.

Nikita let out a cry, her back arching in pure ecstasy when he entered her wet warm body, her let her long slender legs wrap around his waist while Jurgen took her to heights that not even Michael could transport her to. This couldn't be real and the young beauty knew that this was only her mind wishing that he was still in her arms making love to her, being with her forever. Their hands, mouths and bodies worshiped each other well into the early morning hours with Nikita holding him. "I know you're not really here but I am still sorry."

"Sorry for what?" Jurgen whispered still holding onto her form before he suddenly realized what she felt such guilt over. Gently running a hand on the side of her slender face in a sweet lover's caress, the operative knew what troubled her. "This is about what happened before the mission isn't it?"

Tears flooded in her blue eyes once more looking up at him with Nikita nodding. "Y…Yes it was my fault. You lost what little freedom you had because of me and then your life."

"No, Nikita. I don't blame you for any of that and love you. What can I do to end your pain?"

Nikita just sobbed hard into his warm embrace wondering how he could feel so warm, so real, and even smell so real to her if this was a dream. Before she knew what was happening, Jurgen grabbed her slender wrist to pull her up to her knees letting out a gasp once she was over his lap. The warm hand on her smooth cheeks seemed almost too real suddenly with this couldn't ever be real so she let it go. The first smack to her bared bottom banished any thought of it being a dream from her clouded mind.

The hand that now came down upon her backside with the cheeks bouncing with every single smack soon had her squirming over his lap. The heat was building and soon Nikita was in tears with her guilt flooding to the bedding. Her cheeks soon were hot to the touch but he was far from done yet bringing her hair brush down causing her to let out a pained yelp. The smacks echoed through the bedroom along with her cries knowing that this was his way of forgiving her for what she'd done and causing his death with his loss of freedom.

Once it was over did he hold her soothing his lover with soft words knowing she needed to hear his love and forgiveness. Nikita soon cried herself to sleep never truly knowing it was indeed a dream with it having felt so real.

The next morning, the sun seemed to dance over her face with Nikita rolled over on her back but a sudden pain caused the blonde beauty to gasp with wide blue eyes. Getting out of bed, Nikita went to the large mirror in her room hanging on her closet door with her knees growing weak at the sight before her. Turning so that her sore backside had faced the mirrored surface, Nikita saw the red flaming flesh before her and as she walked back to the bed in bewilderment, a naked foot brushed by a cool wooden object on the floor by the bed.

It took some doing to bend down to gather it actually blinking in shock now holding her hairbrush. How had it gotten from her dresser to lie on the floor at the foot of her bed? That was when the black material also caught her eyes stalking to gather it not recognizing it. It wasn't Michael's since she would know if he'd left his underwear there in her bedroom having not been with him since before her return to Section. It had to be Jurgen's, but he was dead…Wasn't he? Getting dressed, Nikita began to let the dream wash over her consciousness unable to help the soft smile that escaped over her soft lips with her fingers gently touching them. Jurgen had touched and kissed them last night even if it were in a dream, he had given her once night of passion knowing that he would be alright. It gave her peace knowing that he was alright even in death.

The screen before him showed the soft siren in her apartment knowing that Nikita would be alright. It wasn't something he ever expected to happen but knew that she had felt the guilt even before the mission's end. Now it was only a matter of time before the pieces of the game were set and began to either fall or triumph but until then all he could do was protect her knowing that one day Section would fall and his Siren would be forever free.


End file.
